London, England – Britain’s National Health Service has today issued an emergency warning to the country’s estimated 2.5 million sufferers of diabetes following concerns that the recent retirement of Sachin Tendulkar from one day international cricket could lead Mark Nicholas to write tributes containing “life threatening levels of saccharine”.
The Australian based English broadcaster is renowned for his hyperbole-tinged cricket commentaries and flowery tributes to the games greats, but it’s feared that any article he would write about the retirement of Indian batting colossus, Sachin Tendulkar, could be so sugery-sweet as to be a danger to diabetics.
The country-wide warning comes just six months after the NHS had to issue emergency supplies of blood pressure medicine to Derbyshire GP’s following a critical article by Nicholas about the standard of their local county cricket team.
“Frankly the man is a menace to public health,“ commented NHS spokesman, Nick Taylor, “he’s either causing the chronically ill’s blood to boil or sending their blood-sugar levels through the roof.”
When asked to comment, CricInfo, who publish a regular column by Nicholas, said that in future his articles would be accompanied with a link to appropriate medical advice on the NHS Direct website.