Adelaide, Australia – With four test match double centuries already this year, 2012 has seen Australian captain Michael Clarke in record-breaking form. But the Sydney based batsman looks to have achieved something else that eluded great players of the past to have worn the baggy green cap, after it emerged that he has persuaded Australian supporters to admit they like a man who enjoys shopping and smelling nice.
As despite the traditional image of an Australian cricketer being a rugged, moustachioed man, stripped to the waist, drunkenly punching fish into a catch net, a poll to be published in tomorrow’s Herald Sun shows that an impressive 63% of Australian cricket fans now agree with the statement “I quite like Michael Clarke, even if he is a bit metrosexual”.
Head of Social Studies at Melbourne University, Professor Brian Allenby, explained the significance of the findings:
“Australia likes to view itself as a modern progressive country but in terms of its cricketers anyone less hirsute than Merv Hughes is viewed with suspicion. For people to openly admit they like Michael Clarke, a player who’s been photographed smiling whilst out shoe shopping with his wife, we have seen a remarkable step forward. A sea change in the Australian cultural landscape.”
As for the thoughts of Australian supporters themselves, cricket fan Liam Harris summed up their new enlightened outlook, “I’d probably keep my shirts neatly pressed too, if it meant a shot at nailing Lara Bingle”.