Graeme Smith: Surrey Contract Demands
- Allowed to wear pirate hat to any damn press conference he wants
- Chris Adams not allowed to refer to him as ‘Plan C’
- Gets to sit at back of team coach with ‘cool’ players
- Surrey to start signing ‘cool’ players
- Up Surrey bowling attack’s SouthAfricaness from 40 to 80%
- Win with the men’s team, celebrate with the women’s!
- ECB not allowed to ‘rest’ him in County Championship games
- Or call him up into Lions squad
- Can call Chris Tremlett ‘Morne’ whenever he gets homesick and confused
- Yeah, a veto over KP’s texts is pretty much a given, right?