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  • Difficulty settings: Easy, Intermediate, Hard, ‘Hangover and Squits after team night out’
  • Level One: Simulate off-season by watching back-to-back episodes of Jeremy Kyle whilst complaining about all the travelling you’ll have to do in three months time
  • Advanced 3D modelling renders ultra-realistic graphic depiction of empty seating
  • Level Four: Using sign language only, persuade East European concierge at Travelodge to check in team after midnight
  • Level Seven: Collect all the clues to work out which member of the coaching staff is nailing your wife
  • Pace bowler options include, slower ball, bouncer, cutter, bottle-top and sun-cream
  • Wireless handheld controller allows one-day style scoop shots without risk of strangling yourself with electronic lead
  • Random number generator accurately simulates Duckworth/Lewis targets
  • Level Nine: Maintain a steady aim as zombies escape the Sky Sports Commentary box
  • Secret ‘Surrey Mode’ allows access to all domestic players
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