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We begin July’s eNewsletter with a reminder that the MCC Museum is once again Crips territory with The Long Room and The Harris Garden remaining under control of the Bloods.

Let’s respect those territorial boundaries and stay safe out there people!

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June match results:

03/06 v Lord’s Taverners – Lost by 9 dreary after dinner anecdotes to 5

17/06 v Sri Lankan U19 – Result unknown (scorer retired with writers’ cramp)

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Membership Notice Board:

Once again, equipment to produce heavy water has been discovered behind the club shop. Come on guys, cut it out! The set of Primary Club ties we sent to the UN last Christmas will only humour the international atomic energy agency inspectors for so long. Let’s not forget we’re still bound by Security Council Resolution 1389.

On a related matter, graffiti about Hans Blix has had to be chemically removed from the Mound Stand toilets. It goes without saying that we need to let this go now, the guy retired in 2003.

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The MCC Friends of Eddie Vedder Society are looking for a new treasurer.

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As discussed during the pre-season members forum a letter has been forwarded to ‘The Barmy Army’ regarding the careless subject-verb agreements used in a number of their chants. We await a response.

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Club Shop:

Stock correction:

It’s come to light that the ‘Dog Ball Slingshot’ being sold as a training aid is in fact a repackaged Ann Summers ball gag. Whilst we will continue to carry the item please note that the shop is currently out of stock following a bulk order by Eton school.

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Social calendar

Recent Events:

June’s ‘vjazzling’ demonstration proved to be massively oversubscribed. Apologies to those of you who missed out, attended only to succumb to the rather strong glue vapours or didn’t get chance to see Mike Gattings’ new bikini line.

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