Los Angeles – Executives at Australia’s leading employer of former Test cricketers were celebrating last night after an Advanced Hair Studio advert swept the board at the twenty-third annual “Screamies” in Los Angeles.
The sixty second infomercial features Mark Nicholas and Shane Warne discussing the benefits of gluing East European barber shop floor cutting to the top of your head. But it’s the sub-text of man’s futile battle against his own mortality, as well as the spine-chilling ‘mateyness’ of the dialogue, that’s conquered the world of ‘B’ movie horror fandom.
The advert won a total of nine awards on the night, including a joint victory in the Best CGI Monster category for the adverts leading men and twin triumph for Mr Warne’s teeth with Best Use of Prosthetics and Best Lighting.
“It’s an unusual move to celebrate a commercial in this way,” conceded event organiser, Merle Rimshot, “but the nomination committee were unanimous that it was the most frightening thing they’d seen all year. It’s already being hailed as a Zombie classic. If you’ve heard a script that better portrays life after brain death I’d like to know what it is.”
When asked to comment, Mark Nicholas’ agent said, “Why are you calling me at three in the morning about this, you idiot”.