19th October 2011

Final day of practice before tomorrow’s crunch fixture in Mohali.

So far on tour: two games, two decisive defeats.

Time for Team England crisis management procedures to kick into action.

That meant a morning of hard work in the nets trying to convince our middle-order that the average Indian pitch isn’t possessed of a palpable and pervasive evil capable of feasting on the flesh of an unsuspecting tourist and sucking marrow from the bones of anyone who ventures out of their crease.

Followed by an afternoon building up the courage of bowlers who know their every move will be judged by Robert George Dylan Willis –the necromancer at the heart of the Sky Sports highlights package. The most evil aspect of the News International Empire. The black flame of cricketing commentary that gives out no heat, sheds no light, yet consumes all positivity in its unending war against joy.

Some light calisthenics to sharpen up fielding were also involved.