Things are not going well.
There’s no hiding from that. No avoiding it. So instead we have to explain ourselves. Or rather Samit Patel does, as he’s the poor bastard who drew the short straw of taking today’s press conference.
This is his opportunity to learn that being an international player is more than just the adept and efficient execution of on-field skills. It’s also about the adept and efficient avoidance of blame when those skills let you down.
But with Samit a relative newcomer to the side, and therefore with his experience of blame avoidance limited to bullshitting the local Nottinghamshire media, a number of the squad watched on from the sidelines for moral support, as well as to tick off phrases from their ‘Tour Excuses’ Bingo card.