12th October 2011

My right knee isn’t half playing me up this evening. Although thankfully it’s not a reoccurrence of an old injury, just fatigue after a day spent dead-legging members of the backroom staff.

I know that sounds a bit violent, but don’t blame me, blame the ICC. They’re the ones who banned runners and left us with no choice but to practise turning for a tight second with one batsman sprinting and one hobbling around like he’s got an infected haemorrhoid.

Obviously there was a range of options as to how we could replicate the ambling gait of an injured player, and with hindsight, tying shoelaces together might have been a more sensible choice. But given the painful range of jabs the physio had administered before we set off for India, is it any surprise I ran across the dressing room and smashed my knee as hard as possible into his thigh before we’d had chance for a show of hands on the matter?

Well, he was surprised I suppose. At least I think that was the gist of what he shouted out at me afterwards.

Anyway, with most of the batsmen wanting to get in similar practise, it took quite some time to get the remaining back office staff prepared. Obviously, only about five minutes of that was down to administering the actual dead legs, the rest of the time was spent trying to catch them, as they’d seen what had happened to the physio and several of them had got a fairly decent head start.

Full marks here to our laptop analyst; he might spend all day sat on his arse but he’s got quite a turn of speed on him when he’s making a break through the stadium gates and down the back streets to our hotel. In the end we had to commandeer a Tuk-Tuk and ram the bugger into a roadside fruit stall before he gave up. Ironically he was so knackered after that we didn’t have to dead-leg him anyway.

So with evening upon us I’m beginning to wonder how we’ll practise for the changes to powerplay overs now. I’ve heard rumours that Andy Flower is trying to source an air-rifle, but it’s hard to say whether that’s just wide of the mark scuttlebutt or if management are thinking outside the box again.

I guess tomorrow will reveal the answer…