Another weird conversation with Munaf over breakfast. Had to explain difference between eureka and urethra. What the hell is he googling to come up with these questions?

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Despite heavy loss, am feeling up-beat about Team India’s progress. There’s been a great deal of complacency amongst media and fans over our no. 1 position in ICC test ranking. Well, it’s not taken me long to show them just how flimsy the grasp on that position was. And it’ll be a while before our supporters get quite as optimistic again.

That is the essence of expectation management. And the first job on my list of priorities is to manage expectations. Well, actually the first job is to make sure Sachin doesn’t run out of medication foot powder. But right under that, on the list, no. 2, expectation management.

Actually, thinking about it, organising net practise is probably more important as well. Mmm, forget that, let’s just say expectation management is high up on my list of priorities and not get bogged down as to its exact position in the hierarchy.

What’s truly important is that our supporters understand ‘what does not kill you only makes you stronger’. And we will make a very strong No.2 test side – assuming we don’t slide down to no. 3 – poised on the shoulders of the leaders, ready to play to our strengths by getting the future tours committee to schedule nine consecutive home series.

Job done, England. Bask in our bouncebackability. Or whatever the Hindu equivalent is of that.

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More good news: Zak and Virender are gradually overcoming their injuries and are expected to be fit and available for IPL5!

Thank you very much. Contract bonus duly earned.

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Had a long, get to know you chat with VVS at dinner. Never knew he was a budding screenplay author.

His latest attempt – the intriguingly titled Who fights now the Condor? – is a Bollywood re-imagining of Alfred Hitchcock’s The Birds. Although it seems he’s been having difficulty generating interest in the script, as there’s not much history of mixing mime and gangster rap in the Indian film industry.

He mentioned having to remove the constant references to women’s beach volleyball as well as re-working the final fight scene because “on reflection the Dalai Lama is unlikely to use a flame-thrower”.

Nodded my head a little too enthusiastically. Been given script to read.

You live, you learn.

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