Meeting with BCCI PR team.

Topic: How to spin Lords defeat into positive mindset fertiliser.

Great phrase. I can’t keep a straight face saying it but these guys have 20+ years marketing experience. Professionals, hardened to bullshit.

A strategy emerges:

Need to sell injuries to Zak, Sachin & Gambhir as beyond “team event horizon”.

Need to cluster bomb media with phrase “bouncebackability”.

Need to emphasis idea India are slow starters and that once we’re out of our early tour training bra we’ll flop all over England and they won’t be able to handle us.

Obviously the phrasing of that last point will need some tweeking. But the basic concept’s there. I’ll leave the details to the pros.


Sight of Zak hobbling round hotel not confidence inspiring. Will struggle to play in second test now. Without him we’re like an aircraft carrier without any aircraft, and what kind of idiot would think that’s a good idea?

Need to rebrand him as powerful reserve waiting in wings.  Nuclear option perhaps? No, only plausible India would use that on Pakistan. Floating reserve? No, imagine Sun back page if we indirectly linked him to word floater.

Mmm, need to give this more thought. Probably need to organise net practise at some point today too.

Man, this coaching stuff is harder than people realise.


Dravid’s constant pen hogging is starting to ruin our team Pictionary sessions. I know others feel the same, but if I say anything they’d just deny it. They don’t want to upset him because he’s the best player and they want him on their team.

That’s the thing about Pictionary. It’s all about the politics.