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Melbourne, Australia– A press conference arranged in response to Simon Katich’s recent claim that Cricket Australia operate a “part-time selection panel” had to be cancelled this morning after Chairman of Selectors Andrew Hilditch was unable to get time off work to attend. Hilditch, 55, was understood to be covering a college’s shift at the West Beach branch of Hungry Jack’s in his home town of Adelaide at the time.

To compound the embarrassment, senior selector David Boon, a children’s entertainer from Tasmania, was also unavailable due to a scheduling conflict with the 12th Annual North Carolina Magic Convention.

“This is an unfortunate set of circumstances,” said a spokesman for Cricket Australia, “but it shouldn’t be taken as evidence to back-up Simon’s argument.”

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