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Cardiff, Wales – It’s been revealed by the ECB that the controversial selection of Eoin Morgan for Thursday’s opening Test against Sri Lanka was decided by a “name all the current England captains” tie-breaker.

Ravi Bopara had initially been thought favourite for the hotly contested England number six slot after turning down a chance to play in the IPL in favour of concentrating on his domestic form with Essex. However chairman of selectors, Geoff Miller, explained the choice between the pair had always been closer then generally assumed.

“Our deliberations had continued for some time and came down to the two main candidates, Eoin and Ravi,” explained the former Derbyshire and England all-rounder, “They both scored highly for exotic sounding names but did less well in terms of their actual Test record. In the end we were forced to go to the tie-break question. Eoin came out on top after listing all our current captains including several we’d completely forgotten had been appointed. Whilst Ravi guessed at Graham Gooch before trying  to impress us with a shadow puppet of Billy Bowden. It was a close run thing, but we decided that Eoin had just edged it.”


In related news: There was no domestic cricket played today after the ECB scheduling committee incorrectly assumed the 23rd May was a bank holiday. Said a spokesman for the board, “If we’d realised it was a working day we’d have organised a full set of fixtures.”