Mumbai, India – A stadium stood to a legend making his final IPL appearance. A worldwide television audience watched as the curtain fell on Shane Warne’s latest retirement attempt. Whilst in office blocks facing away from the action, India’s notoriously thin-skinned cricket administrators lamented the passing of their final chance to take offence at the Australian leg-spinner’s every utterance.
Assistant media manager in the IPL’s corporate entertainment department, Rohit Kumar, 37, summed up the feelings of many.
“I’ve been working my way through the ranks for almost twenty years just for an opportunity to feel personally slighted by a player’s throwaway comment during a post match interview,” he explained, “Warne was always the one most likely to open his mouth and put his foot in it. Now I’ll never have a chance to turn a minor mispronunciation of my name into a cause-celebre.”
“Shane Warne, will be greatly missed,“ added fellow administrator, Nihar Patil, a worker bee for the Gujarat Cricket Association, “I’m currently suing Brad Hodge for failing to hold a door open for me, but it’s just not the same. No one really cares if you take twenty percent of his match fee, it barely makes the papers. But Warne had that X-factor, it meant so much more to know it was a legend of the game whose time and money you were wasting.”
But whilst the IPL’s disciplinary commission has yet to receive complaints related to Warne’s conduct during his final appearance, it’s understood a class action is being worked on by lawyers representing those Indian regional cricket commissioners traumatised by not receiving a personal thank you from Warne for their part in his career.
A legal notice is expected to be served by the end of the week or “when it’s most annoying.”