Headingley, Leeds – The already fractious relationship between English county sides and the ECB scheduling committee looks set to deteriorate further after it emerged the final day of this week’s Roses match will clash with the coming Rapture.
‘The Rapture’, the long prophesied day when righteous men and women are gathered into the air to meet Jesus Christ prior to the ending of the world, has been calculated by Harold Camping, President of Family Radio a California based religious broadcast network, to fall on Saturday 21st of May, the final day of Lancashire and Yorkshire’s traditional Roses clash in Liverpool.
“This is typical,” said Harold Grimdyke, operator of Yorkshire supporter site battingforadraw.com, “It’s bad enough the ECB have taken Shahzad and Bairstow for a pointless Lions fixture. But now we could see players literally plucked from us as they ascend to a better place, which I imagine to be exactly like Yorkshire but with a twenty-six year old Fred Trueman still operating from the Kirkstall Lane End.”
“The ‘righteous’ are clearly a group Yorkshire cricketer’s belong in, “ claimed fellow supporter James Boothroyd unconvincingly, “We could potentially lose all of our players, apart from Andy Gale obviously, who condemned himself to eternal damnation when he put his name forward for the IPL auction whilst he was still our captain.”
Yorkshire themselves appear less convinced.
“I don’t know anything about this,” admitted their Director of Cricket, Marytn Moxon, “I’m clearly no theologian, but I hope Mr Camping’s calculations about the end of the world prove wide of the mark. Although having said that, I don’t get paid for another couple of weeks or so, and it would be just like the club to diddle me out of a fortnights’ wages.”