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Rural England – Pity not Mike De Sousa, for he is a man with a mission: to track down and capture the last remaining English professional cricketer who’s not captaining his national side in one format of the game or another.

Mike is one of a dedicated band of enthusiasts, wackos some would maintain, who believe in the existence of the non-captaining English cricket pro. Theirs is a tireless task, an arduous road littered by false trails and increasing ridicule from the general public. But Mike for one refuses to give up, “He’s out there somewhere, I know he is”, says Mike, “We thought we’d tracked him down to Canterbury last month, but it turns out Darren Stevens captained England during last winter’s Hong Kong sixes”.

Another hobbyist, who like Mike has put in years of painstaking research, is starting to have doubts and has asked to remain anonymous. “The appointment of Stuart Broad was a hammer blow for us all, “ he maintains, “I mean, if he’s been given a crack at the job surely everyone must have had a go by now?”

Truly these appear to be trying times in the quest to find the non-captaining English cricket pro.

As for Mike, a former back-up wicketkeeper with Derbyshire, could he himself prove to be what he’s been searching for all these years? “No”, says Mike with a rueful shake of the head, “Unfortunately I’m the England captain and so is my wife.”