26th March 2011

Do you know how long it takes to pack a cricket coffin, unpack it, and then pack it again? Ages, that’s how long. And that’s with your mum helping you. Imagine how much more time-consuming it is without someone remembering to tuck your sock balls into your shoes and to fold the clothes first? You’re losing a serious amount of Call of Duty: Black Ops multiplayer time to what is essentially a garment administration exercise. That’s not how the most eligible leg-spinner in Bradford should be spending his time.

What makes it worse is all this effort, all this travel, has just been another example of England cap teasing Adil. Luring him 9,000 miles with the promise of a sure thing only to call the whole thing off as soon as he gets in position. It’s enough to drive him mad. A young cricketer has needs you know.

As for the match itself, we’ve got to be pleased to have finally rid ourselves of the ‘close finish’ tag. And at least Chris Gayle must be feeling better about himself right now – assuming he stops drinking rum from a supermodels navel long enough to watch cricket, that is. That’s the thing about England; we’re the ex-colonial power that keeps on giving.

Thank you Sri Lanka, you’re welcome.

Now if you’ll excuse me I have to head back to the post-match debrief. It’s my turn with the demonstration doll to show where Dilshan and Tharanga were abusing me.



Thought for the day: Matt Prior’s got a beautiful pair of hands. Mainly because he doesn’t use them for any kind of manual work.