24th March 2011

Bugger, my calf is playing up again. Entirely my fault of course. For not being born Geoff Boycott I mean. Wouldn’t have happened to Geoff you see. He’s too good a cricketer to be injured. His ability to nurdle a single to deep backward square leg makes him immune to calf injuries. See also: stress, depression, leprosy, the ebola virus and an ability to empathise.

He can fly though. On Thursdays. Which is useful given how busy the Post Office gets then. Voom, straight to the head of the queue. I know all this because Geoff told me about it once. Although to be honest I may have drifted off at some point and started to dream the remaining conversation…

Oh yeah, snakes. I forgot to mention snakes. He can charm them. Do you finding Geoff Boycott charming? No? Well that’s because you’re not a snake. Q.E.D. (a Latin phrase coined by Geoff himself. Or so he said/I dreamt.)

Thought for the day: Let’s remember who the real losers of today’s World Cup Quarter-final are – whichever county is now captained by Ricky Ponting in 2012. In the words of the late great Leslie Nielsen, “Good luck, we’re all thinking of you”.