9th March 2011

Forward planning. Team England is all about the forward planning.

KP breaks down; no problem, Eoin is patched up, ready and waiting at home. Stuart sleeps awkwardly on his guy-liner pencil; hey, don’t fret it, Tremlett is already out here, his thousand yard stare blazing out from the boundary edge. Concerned about the lack of back-up for Graeme Swann? Relax, just ten time zones away in the Caribbean, Adil Rashid is plying his trade with England Lions in preparation for the World Cup – the 2023 World Cup, where, as a fresh faced thirty-five year old, he’ll be deemed ready to prove that English cricket understands and trusts leg spin.

That’s forward planning for you. And we’re smearing it all over this tournament like a drunken clown applying make-up.

That was the message from this morning’s team meeting. A meeting that contained a powerful assertion of where we have come from as a team and where we are going to; as well as some educated guesswork as to where the hell we are right now.

I actually don’t mind these kinds of meeting. Early on the Ashes tour we had one where Cap’n Ring-on-a-string was giving us all that American ‘power of positive thought’ guff and I asked him what would happen if he was facing a bowler who’d read the same self-help books; ever since then I’ve been allowed to sit at the back and play Angry Birds whilst everyone else tries to “visualise success”.

I make that: Yorkshire common sense, 1. Yank psychobabble, 0.