1st March 2011

If you want to understand England’s depth of preparation for this World Cup campaign you only have to look at the groundwork we’ve put into combating Ireland.

1) Nick their best player.

2) Break his finger.

3) Send him home.

That’s two years planning right there. Bam! How do you like those potatoes, Ireland?

We did something similar with Ed Joyce by the way, only instead of the pain and misery of a broken finger he has to play for Sussex. Put it in that context and you can see how lucky Eoin has been.

Controversy still rages over Ian Bell’s DRS reprieved lbw the other night. Belly was saved by getting more than 2.5 meters down the pitch and you can understand the Indian media’s anger about it. I mean, how the hell’s Sachin Tendulkar supposed to benefit from that? Even if he took a couple of strides forward and then fell flat on his face, his head still wouldn’t be that far down the pitch. Any system that gives Sulieman Benn a better chance of being given not out than the little master has gotta be more fucked up than Charlie Sheen’s kids.

Late night rehearsals for tomorrow’s game didn’t go well. KP and Trotty are still having difficulty working out which of the two national anthems they should be mouthing along too. Not sure if Ed Joyce will have similar confusion. Apparently he sung the words to Dirty Old Town when he played for us.

I’ll keep an eye out and see if he does the same for Ireland tomorrow…