28h February 2011

26 today. Cue ‘hilarious jokes’ from Graeme Swann about not being strong enough to lift me for the bumps. Shame Sachin didn’t have similar problems yesterday when he kept lifting Graeme over long-off and bumping the ball into the advertising hoardings at the back of row z.

Swanny, as I’m sure I’ve noted before, has a sense of humour based on the 1989 Hale and Pace Christmas special. The difference being they microwaved a cat rather than using it as the cornerstone for the least convincing drink-driving excuse in legal history. Thank goodness Graeme found a barrister who could deliver it with a face straighter than Mike Yardy’s off-spinner. That guy could have said “well bowled” to Jimmy yesterday and not cracked a smile.

Speaking of the man whose wagon-wheel against India looked like an exploding Ewok; he’s another one who thinks he’s a funny guy. Likes a joke on twitter doesn’t he? Although he’s still not found anything to top “I’m the leader of England’s attack”.

It seems Jimmy and Graeme have being spending the last few days thinking up all manner of joke presents for me; mainly high-brow culture they think I’ll have no use for. Well guess what smart-arses, I’m intrigued by the portrayal of man’s indomitable spirit found in Dostoyevsky’s House of the Dead, so thanks for the book. And I’d love a season ticket to the RSC, so who’s laughing now? Me, that’s who; although not for long, as the programme starts with Titus Andronicus, which is fairly light on humour.

Now if you’ll excuse me I’ll pull that ‘I’m confused face’ you both fall for every time and head up to my room to enjoy this Trans-Europe Express CD on levels you couldn’t even begin to imagine.  Also I still have some of the giant Toblerone left that Belly got me from the airport…