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1st January 2011

The New Year is upon us, but, as yet, there’s no news of Kevin Pietersen claiming to have cured cancer by crossing it out of his Daily Mail horoscope. Come on, big lad, the first day of 2011 has almost gone by and you’ve yet to perform one of your miracles.

What does remain in the papers out here is a poll showing only 15 percent of Australians want Michael Clarke as their captain; that’s roughly the same percentage who’d willingly have their balls shaved by Muhammad Ali – Parkinson’s or no Parkinson’s. I wonder if it’ll be the Barmy Army’s turn to drown booing in cheers when the Australian captain walks out at Sydney?

Today has been designated a ‘quiet day’ by Cap’n Ring-on-a-string. Not sure how quiet that would have to be to satisfy Strauss. I don’t want to suggest he’s is an overly cautious person, but he didn’t want us watching the Queen’s speech at Christmas in case it contained strobe lighting. Frankly I don’t think his nerves have recovered from declaring our innings at Brisbane. 517/1 being a bit of a bare-knuckle ride in Andy’s world.

Still, it looks like the Pietersen clan have decamped at the hotel ping-pong table. I think I’ll wander over and ask Kev if he remembers asking for Andy Flower to be sacked as well, back when he was captain? That should keep him quiet for the day at least.