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Writing15th December 2010

Eve of battle and still no official announcement who replaces cover girl when the sides line up for tomorrow morning’s national anthems.

Understandably the press remain primed for the slight clue, the merest hint as to who’s being favoured. Extra ten minutes batting in the nets and I’m reported as playing. Extra swimming session for Ajmal and he’s supposedly getting the nod. Yet none of the fourth estate seems to have noticed me and AJ taking turns to carry Tremblers kit for the past week or so. Frankly the only reason we’ve not been made to carry him around in a sedan chair is management’s concern he’ll cry off with a bedsore.

It’s so unfair. I had to play against the West Indies and Bangladesh but as soon as there’s a chance to boost your average against really sub-standard opposition, in come the southern players. But do the press say anything? Do they even notice? Course they don’t. Supposed to be highly educated but most of them couldn’t tell Shakespeare’s bottom from Guy Garvey’s Elbow.

What was Derek Pringle doing at Cambridge all that time, eating?

Sorry, stupid question.

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