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Writing

27th November 2010

England’s pleasant Sunday afternoon stroll toward Ashes domination continues to be obstructed by reality. Although not, for most of today, by opposition wickets or sprinkler style celebrations slowing down our arrival in cricketing Nivarna.

Hard to say how we failed to get a breakthrough during the morning session. For most of Jimmy’s opening spell, Hussey and Haddin seemed to be randomly thrusting their bat forward in a vain attempt to swat away imaginary ghosts. You could almost sense Shane Watson curling up into a foetal position, longing for the safety of Brett Lee’s hotel floor.

But it’s Jimmy you’ve got to feel sorry for. That referral system’s been cock blocking him all game now and he spent most of the morning watching the buttered side of his toast hitting the ground again.

I’m not convinced how accurate this New Zealand version of Hawkeye is either. I suspect we’d be better off with Billy Bowden and an Etch A Sketch. Or, for more accurate results, just the Etch A Sketch.

None of that should take away from Hussey’s innings. He was a class act. But Mother Mary and the Holy Dolphin, he’s not exactly charismatic is he? When he’s at the crease he makes Geoff Boycott look like Jim Carrey. God knows where that celebration came from. Perhaps he heard they’ve invented an improved system of double-entry bookkeeping?

Hope the press aren’t too hard on England tomorrow. Today’s play wasn’t all negative. Andy Flower’s been promising for ages to bring Monty’s fielding in line with the rest of the squad and on the evidence of today I doubt many people would argue with how much progress has been made.

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