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23rd November 2010

Two days to go. Excitement reaching a crescendo. Undertow of adrenaline flows inexorably through veins. Anticipation heightens. Steven Finn wakes before ten. The doors of the amphitheatre are readying to open. The Gladiators primed to enter.

Coach to gym delayed. Broady can’t find his moisturiser. I wonder if Spartacus suffered from a dehydrated T-Zone?

Gym. Work on lats and leg curls replaces line and length. This close to first Test routines tailor-made to account for previous injury record. I was given exacting programme of circuit training. KP concentrating on upper body strength, avoiding putting stress on previously troublesome Achilles. Tremlett using bouncy castle at kiddies jungle gym down the road. Older, more boisterous children removed as safety measure.

Pre-series media sledging continues. Latest from Shane Warne is that KP is “isolated within the squad”. Really? Think again, Andy Flower phoned Kev and there’s absolutely no truth in it. Anyway, the best thing about touring is you get to spend time with all the friends you’ve made on the county circuit.

No time for frivolity now. No time to see the sights. Instead it’s another night in playing Medal of Honour. Named my character, Giles. Bided my time, then wham, stabbed KP in the back. Who says computer games aren’t realistic?

Alistair thinks MOH is “a good name for a real medal”. Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the next captain of England.