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30th October 2010

Few of us snuck out of VIP lounge at Heathrow to grab a bite to eat from nearby fast food franchise. Swanny stunned when he realised guy serving him used to be drummer in Oasis. Gave us his ‘confused, upset or in need of toilet’ look. Swanny, not the drummer. It must have felt as emotional as when Schopenhauer denounced Hegel or Dylan went electric, except in a more superficial way that Graeme’s mind can cope with. Took my chance to do the “can I get a Roll with it?” gag. Apparently he’d heard it before. The drummer, not Swanny.

Tremlett had to be sedated and carried onboard, Mr T style. Was it wrong of me to tell him Snakes on a Plane was a documentary? Rival for a bowling place, my hairy Yorkshire arse!

Sat next to Broad on journey over. After all that strength and conditioning work you’d think he’d be able to lift his own bags into the overhead compartments. Still, he’s got a way with the ladies. By feigning injury he charmed the stewardess serving our in-flight meal into leaning over and cutting up his pork schnitzel, although any frisson between them was lost when he asked her to “cut it into four pieces rather than eight, I’m not that hungry”.

Bit of a delay when we landed whilst Andy Flower headed off with two suitcases full of Zimbabwean currency to the airport bureau de change. It was only after converting it and borrowing a further 30 bucks from Goochie that he was able to pay his excess baggage surcharge. You know, I’m beginning to wonder if he’s the tactical genius Strauss keeps telling us he is.

Perhaps things will look different after a good night’s sleep…